L.E.G Film Review.
Narrator: Their are group, created by orginazation or by themself's
they are hear to combat threats or even others alone from the greater good,
their is one group that combat it alone Critic's sociaty and one of them is a man
Who hates Parody's, gets the sorce material wrong or f up places. he is the Reviewer.
(Reviewers turns around)
Reviewer: Lets kick some ass.
(Title card appeared)
Hello and Welcome to the Reviewer's guide where DVD's and Films burn,
Let's talk about Alan Moore.
Alan Morre is the Stan lee of British comics, he a man who Satric person
who hates eaither those who do adapataions or see things his own way, he has
Made Comic books that turned into movies or TV Shows, Watchmen, V for Vendetta,
Constantine, and of course Watchmen which is my favorite movie. but Today i'm going to Review a movie that people hated even Morre himself hated.
The Leauge of Extranodary Gentlemenwww.youtube.com/watch?v=qfdux5…
Considered by Sean Conery last Film he ever made, This film had bad Effects,
Add on Characters and not faithful to the comic books source material. but for me i dont think its that bad of a comic book movie but before this lets talk about that comic book that this film based on.
The Comic book Follows the adventures of famous Litrary charecters into one steampunk
Supergroup team, just like Avengers Assembed and JLA which combines famous Comic book
Charecters into one team, The leauge combines them all.
Alan Quatermain: Hunter, Adventurera and explorer.
Nina Harker: Leader, and vampire survivalist.
Captain Nemo: Pirate and inventor.
The Invisable man: A man who turn invisible.
And finally Dr Jeckle and his Monster The honrable Mr Hyde.
They are L.E.G. Rule Britannia
so 20th century Fox after the success of the X-men films wanted to try their luck of
Adapting this comic The movie was Directed by Steven Notthingham who did one good movie which was blade, so if that works will be hit a two punch combo.....well lets dig into L.E.G to find out.
and yeah before i begin what's with the L.X.G, first of all im a good speller and i know
Extraordanry dont being with the letter X its E. proberly i'll be funny
Alan Morre: FUCKERS!
Reviewer: You said it.
The movie begins in 1899 where the Text Scroll inform us that
Its having peace but also new wepons are comming to be deployed. until a
policemen patroling the town until a Tank bashed in.
Polcemen: what in god's name is that.
Reviewer: Its a tank...oh come one The Tank was invented in 1914 which well...
the Edwardian Era not the victorian era.
The Police trys to stop the Tank..."Err Run", one of them try to
stop but gets crushed "and no a Austan powers clip"www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdctnP…
"Boy its make me fell like that", the Tank then crashed into the Bank of England
where...Guard's..."Why do they have guards in Banks...no reason what's so ever"
The Tank then bashed into the Vaults and enters...Nazi's??? Why are their nazi's in a L.E.G Film....did Steven Nottingham didnt know Nazi's existed till World War 2, hell he could've
put Napolians army in a tank and would still be insulting.
And of course enters The Villian of the movie The Phantom.static.rogerebert.com/uploads/…
No, not that phantom but he's awesome SLAM EVIL!
he comes in steel to steel the Da Vinci plans of Venice "So Bank of England is not only a bank...but also a museam...MAKE YOUR MIND UP", The Phantom then head
to Berlin to have his forces to kidnap the Sciantists.
Sciantist: What do you want.
The Phantom: The World, i want the world.
The Reviewer: and Also my close up shot to know that i am evil.
The Phantom then uses a Bazoka to distory the Hellum Blimp...wait why is that have a String...its it a Rocket
Grappling hook or something, The Newspapers then gets the attention that Britian Is
Blamed for the Attacks but denies it "Wait...why are Britain Blameing Germany for this....its the Phantom maybe their to think to know that."
We cut to Kenya in affrica where a British man in with a Bowler hat goes to a Hotel
full of Old british people, and comes across Alan Quatermain (Sean Connery)
The Comic dose it way better, In that Alan Quatermain was in a refuge place
when Nina found him, also Quatermain was more on show because of his Old age
be more reliable to the team.
but comes people in trenchcoats "Mustve been fans of the David Tennant Doctor who
club" they come in a shot the wrong person.
Quatermain: Wrong Quatermain.
Reviewer (in a sean conory accent): I can't beleve you shot the wrong James bond.
We get an Action Sequance where Quatermain is a badass, Including
one where he Inpale a man in to the horn with the UK flag.
Quatermain: Rule Britannia.
One of them escapes and run away, not knowing that their is a Suitcase bomb
left behind "serlously the barman was their shouldnt he throw it out"
Quateramin gets his riffle and of course he's a sharpshooter and takes him out with one Bullet.
Quatermain: stop him
Reviewer: yeah affrican people hold his arms stoping him doing something.
but too later he takes out Poison and killed himself "Captain America The First avenger
Dose it better"
and of course the bomb went off "serlously The barman shouldve hired more affirican people"
Quatermain decided to go with him and sees the Cross of another person named Quatermain makeing us fell like his son left "Which never happend in the movie"
They arrived at London.
Quatermain: Not as good as Phenius Fogg, Around the world in 80 days.
Not if your Steve Cogan.
Quatermain enter the main building of the council building and meet
M (A Little nod because of Sean Conory was in James Bond....if only Percy Jackson would
Done that with Peice Brosman), M informs Quatermain about the situation that The Phantom will blow up Venice, we meet of couse the Others Captain Nemo (Naseerudian Shah), The Invisable man or Skinner (Tony Curran "Who played Preist in Blade 2, and vincnet van Goth in Doctor who's vincent and the doctor") and finally Nina Harker (Peta Wilson)
So M tells them to Recruit the final 2, they head outside.
Quatermain: What is gods name is that
Nemo: I call it a Automobile...its the future.
The Reivewer: THE FUTURE!!!....also how in gods name Nemo invented that?
The Automobile wasnt invented till 18th century, well Sherlock Holmes the Game of Shadows worked it well.
They Travel (also their a poster about mr Alan Morre...it happend in the comic),
where they meet Dorian Gray (Stewart Townsend) telling them they have no part joining the leauge, but then Dorian Remembers Nina long time ago, he invites them in And we get a lot of Backstory "the comic dose it better because their sequals to other books and it shows about their origins"
hear both Mina and Quatermain know him...Boring writing that is, Soon after Quatermain
Spider Sences comes that a army with Armour comes in, and course The Phantom
Comes in telling him he can join his side a rule the world....Quatermain takes it well as it shoud.
But then...comes another person and then another Action Sequance, Dorian Gray
Joins in as well that he is Immortal, The Phantom escapes, and Mina gets caught by
a Guard and then....
(Nina turns into vampire and sucks the blood out of the guard,
The Reviewer jaw dropped)
Reviewer: No...i call that lame, that dosnt make the charecter better,
The Comic dose it way, way, better also another thing. In the Comics Nina Harker
is the Leader Not Alan Quatermain, in the comics she was the leader to keep the team
in check and her Detective skills are up to par with Sherlock Holmes. Quatermain is more
like the old mentor of the group making things intresting, also it was the turn of the
19th Cenurary where Female are becoming leaders. Marget Thatcher, Angle Merkil,
The Suffragettes ETC.
also making her as a Vampire is bullshit, she never was attacked by Dracula
it was never mentioned in the comic....back to the movie.
we see a new person named Tom Sawyer (Shane West)...Why a
American...oh now i get it, lets not use the fun loving one from the book no,
lets make him into a Charecter that Americans can relate to also hes from the...secret service?...so...forget it, so the others head to the jetti
(and this is my favorite part of the film...nautalous Riseing...."my god that is one bad ass ship, and its impressive how its still hold up....but with one tiny problem....isnt the Ship
Apost to be a Squid but still that is awesome")
they head to paris to capture The Honerable Mr Hyde, Quatermain
tells sawyer not to shot him but to shot the object to make him
go the other way, they captured him in the net and bring him to the nautalous,
into the decks where Mr Hyde is using his fits to take out the crew.
The others seeing what's going on, Quatermain tells Mr Hyde that
He will be giving him Anasty and drop all the charges so he says "ok" and Agress.
so he changed back into Dr Jeckle (Jason Flyming) "To the movie little Credit he is the only actor who doing a great job, and kudos to the Mr Hyde make up effects it looks awesome"
also the comic dose it way better in which
They need Mr Hyde to distory the Martians from War of the worlds,
how you may ask, Mina Would have Mr Hyde do gental Pursasions one
Of them being Mr Hyde touching Mina Breasts, which he will do for the greater good.
also he's a good example, take Avengers Assembed in which Bruce Banner is recurited by
Natasha aka Black Widow in which agress, later on in the film where they arrested loki,
He begins using mind Melt make agravation to the team, then Hawkeye attacks. and then He becomes The Indcredable Hulk and turns evil, and then at the final moment he becomes a good guy and gets orders to Caprtain America. "See not that hard to develop or have a reason"
so through the entire film is on the naughless where we get:
2: No charecter ark to alan Quatermain.
3: and also Conspeiacy thinks who is taking pictures of the ship.
we also See Dr Jeckle having trouble with Mr Hyde through...windows and Mirrors...
Err never happend in the comic or in the media as well. of course he is scared to letting him out.
so back in his room he decided to take the potion...but find out one of the Hyde potions
is missing and head to the dock also another thing.... WHY IS NINA OUTSIDE WITH THE OTHERS IN SUNLIGHT....she apost to be disinagrated this is not Stephane Myer law, This is
alan moore Law...did Nottingham forget she not a vampire.
later on Captain Nemo and Quatermain talk about the phantom's plan
to take down vencie, the of course head to Venice and deploy the troops.
The Reviewer: Ok people begin deploying the troops.
but its too late that the Underwater Bombs explote "dont tell me", and begins
The distrucation of Venice, Quatermain has the Idea saying to stop the chain reaction
is to take out one key building using Nemo Cordiated it will work.
Sawyer then...drives the car.....how on earth can he drive it....Drivers ed wasnt invented
Sure go with it.
Quatermain, Nina, Dorian and Sawyer drives leaving Dr Jeckle and Nemo behind, Quatermain then said to use the flair as the target and now another action sequance,
Dorin then jumps out of the car to fight the army, and then...nina...use...her....OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
sorry about that...so mad they Nina is the LEADER not a side charecter, so after that
Quatermain sees The Phantom and decided to chase him, meanwhile the Naughtalous
is still getting a pounding "I thought it was indistrucable" (Also their are people around venice...who knew), The Phantom hids in a Graveyard, but then Sawyer fires the flare
singaling Captain nemo to fire the Torpeado, The Car then hits another building and sawyer
needs time to get out but then he died....oh well.
Quatermain head to the Cemetery.
Venice Still stands.
well half of Venice is destroyed duh.
The Phantom attacks Quatermain in another action sequnace,
he takes of the mask finding out that its....M?
M escapes still having the Dagger lodged in his back "Although it would kill him"
Quatermain heads back to others that Phantom is M, and WHAT THE FUCK....SAWYER'S ALIVE!....but we have him kill an explosion, it took about 10 seconds to get out it never explanes...the first mate of Nemo comes out Explans that it wasnt Sknner but was Dorian Gray who did it and he dies.
Dorian then escapes in a pod, and nemo inteded to Persuit after it.
using a map which i have to admit looks good, a private comes in with a Sound, that
Sounded like Star Trek TNG, The recoreder plays explaned That M was done this all the time.
He further explaned that their was no Leauge and use Dorian Gray to gain their trust (Also it Has a Second frequancy that only mr Hyde can hear), Dorin in edition saying he got
Nemo Sciance in which Nina found out it was Magnesum, Skinner skin sample, Jecklle potions and Nina's Blood. to create a super army.
and in futurer edition Dorion plants Bombs around the ship "Then why is their no secutiy checking" the Bombs explodes doing their Star Trek Impression, and they need to surfice
but taking in too much, Mr Hyde Convice Jeckle to work together, he heads to the engine room and changed into Mr Hyde pulling down the leavers empying the water. They repair but then in a clever move, Skinner snuck onboard the pod and send the coordinates.
in a Indina Jones Style head to Russia or...the north pole where they head on foot,
They find the factory and decided to camp in the cave.
Quatermain head outside to guard and saw a white...Tiger
This is the reason their no exposision on the charecter of Quatermain and the lost of his Son...I guess why to think about, but then a old freinds arrives which is Skinner explaning and Report
about what is going on.
He Explaned that he use Lave to make Metal to create the iron man machines,
but the worst was yet to come, he then explaned that M use the scantist
to create the formula's and other for his vast empire, Invisable Spies, Hyde Armies,
Vampireic assasins, and the Noughalie ships. where M will use them for the distruction of the empire.
"and yes This is where Sherlock Holmes the Game of Shadows did it better, the diffrence is
L.E.G floped, but Game of shadows was successful"
in the lair M tells Dorian that his service is no longer needed and the picture is now his,Also this was in the backstory with nina, Meanwhile the leauge Splits up, Skinner use the bombs
do detonate, Nemo and Jeckle will free the hostages and Quaterman and Sawyer will deal with M themselfs also Nina will deal with Dorian.
Quatermain and Sawyer sees M, but then Damian (who we never saw until then),
Gives him the box of tricks, a soilder then comes in saying that captain nemo has rescured the hostages, so Damian and his forces attacks.
Damian: HA HA HA HA HA
The Reviewer: Let me scream with my forces HA HA HA
Hyde then uses the Door that Recociet back, telling Nemo
to free the hostage, and NEMO KICKS ASS MOTHERFUCKERS!
M beings to being the phantom but Quatermain caught him,
But a Soilder sneeks but sawyer stops him also "Moriary....That was in the comic but that was a diffrent version"
Mina goes to Confront Dorian Gray, they exchange banta and
Goes for a fight sequance, as you can see their both immortal.
Nina: The painting
The Reviewer: Let me speak to foil your plan Dorian.
Dorian strikes and kills Nina, meanwhille Sawyer encounters a Invsable
Person thinking its skinner but its not, they fight he then bashed him into a dust room,
but then a reject out of Wolfenstine with a Flamethrow beings the Torching, Sawyer
is corned in a book shelf.
but skinner use a knife and then ROLOL....Skinner running away like a girl...
That is so funny, Sawyer then whacks the container Killing him.
Hyde then sees Dantie using the Hyde formual and drinks the whole thing.
Dorin then takes out the sword and didnt realise that Nina is still
Imortal, she gets up and impale him using the sword and pin againts the wall.
Nina then use the painting that he sees and he turns into corpse and dies.
"Couldve been worst....couldve shown this pic"img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20…
"Uhhhhh i hate Omiverse gwen" also early in the movie isnt the
portated that too big from the staircase.
meanwhile Sawyer finds skinner Alive but cripsy, but the invisable
person captures him, Quatermain finds M and another action sequance.
back with Mr Hyde who his having trouble with a....over steroid version of Paul
Haymen "Hope he has the power to kill vicky gurrero and eddie's grave" also how I
Love the CGI Hyde faces the practical effect hyde...its awesome to see that in.
Nemo Comes to help but he gets his Ass Whooped, Hyde said he in a Accelerated Rate
meaning he will soon change back, of course He changed back to Dr Jecklle, and their Corned by the monster to use a Iceical
Quatermain gets the hand taking down M and then use a Axe to kill at the correct
time Skinners Bombs exploded, Distroying the factory but also distroying the monster,
M then tell him using the mask, sawyer is capture, Quatermain fires the invisable man but
M Stab him in the back, M then Flys down like he's batman and flys off to the sub, Sawyer uses the Riffle in that early scean where Quatermain trained him.
Sawyer took his time and shoot him in the back killing M and the Box
of Tricks submurged into the ice waters "Then....will be other shipment of that too"
Also Stabbing Quatermain in the back dosnt really kill him, as a doctor he wouldve been wounded from the attack.
Quatermain: may a new century be yours son, as the old one was mind.
The Reviewer (Sean Conery acctent): Although this movie is ending dont really care cause My retirement is comming now thank bloody god.
So Quatermain dies, and so our movie ends where Quateramin
is burried in Kenya and the other say their final Goodbye's and then we get this.
Where a Whitchdoctor doing this weird Ceramony....?????
Proberly a sequal planed of L.E.G where Quatermain is a Zombie.
So that was L.E.G how dose it Hold up.
well i dont think its that bad a comic book movie, but what i will agree is that they
Took the name and the concept and make bullshit changes like Nina as a vampire, Skinner as Jerk and make Quatermain backstory not exisant, The two aceptions are Jason Flyming and Naseerudian Shah who did great and decent jobs. and for Sean Conory you can tells by his expresion that he wasnt happy about this moive and Retired because of this.
Even though that films are getting Rebooted i would like to see a Reboot of this with a new cast
and have Jason Fyming and Naseerudian Shah in their respected roles.
if this was Sean Conory last role he didnt end his film with a bang but a bomb.
ill leave with these words, He was giving the part to play Gandalf in the LOTR films,
But he turned it because he think it would disgrimanated him enough said.