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www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbBX6a…

Hello and Welcome to the Reviewer's gude where blood and gore burn.
in the 1970s Blockbusters where starting to get popular like Jaws, star wars, and Halloween,
But then in 1978 Director Ridley Scott changed it all with Alien.
The story is basicly about a group of Sciantist where heading back home for their journey,
but then encounter a plannet to investagate a Crashed Alien Space ship, but then one of them got attack by a chestbuster and then a Little Alien scutters away, and then Age Rapidly

killing the crew one by one, until their was one left which is Ripley.

Not only this film made a big impact in the 70s but it also made a star out of Ridley Scott and Sirgorny Weaver, but with that 7 years later My favorite Director James Cameron with
ALIENS and Fuck yeah this film was awesome, Adding in the Marines but also more aliens,
Alien and Aliens where huge hits at the box office, but Aliens was the one that made it into the Pop culture, With Video games, Toys and people would spoof it when people will automaticly love it.
So then you think it's all over and think that they will go back home and...

OMG NOT ALIEN 3

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vnjQP…
MY GOOOOOOOD!

Hicks: Game over man, GAME OVER!

yes who would've thought that Director David Fincher who would be a Director of his own right, had trouble with the Script and production designs because of the other team didnt want something in their, but this film is not only the one that cause the decline of the film,
but it's also one of the most Depressed and disapointed sequals of all time
Rotton Tomatoes give it 43% and yes i am aware their was a Assmebly Cut that made it better, but if you want a good Alien 3 movie play the Amiga game which i remember playing
its 10 times better.
So lets see why in films no one cant hear you SUCKS!...this is Alien3.
Review:

So recap on the last movie, Ripley, Hicks, Newt, and what is left of my favorite charecter Bishop they all Sleep in the sleeping chambers hoping they get back to earth.

But nope an Alien Egg opens to reveal a face hugger cracking the glass on our favorite charecters, this eventally actavates the alarm sending them into a Pod and Crash landed into a Plannet.
"Which begs the question...what happend to the Mothership...did it left behind, Proberly Red Dwarf will find it soon"
we get a log about what has happend where a group of men opens the pod
and finds....no...NOOOOOOOOO NOT NEWT....NOT HICKS......And...Bishop...AND
NO....I CANT BELEVE IT....AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HOLY SHIT WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU I CANT YOU DID THIS TO ME I CANT BELEVE IT!....WHY....They where Awesome from the last movie...Why!...WHY!....I mean Game over man, Game over.

So of course they found out that.....Ripley ( play again by Sigourney Weaver)
is the only one who has surrvived, we cut a group of Boldies ("Which i call them because
I dont know these charecters" except one of them is played by Charles Dance and Paul Mcgann) the lead Boldie tell them the news that we already know.
Ripley Wakes up by Charles Dance and wanted to know what happend to the Crew including Newt, the recover the Pod and....I have to admit the scean where Ripley Crying about Newt
death...is really well done, its because we routed for these charecters and even then Its really Depressing and worst, This is a prison plannet because She's the only female...
they...oh i cant watch this part...Aparantly they Autospy news explaned she died from Drowning "yeah because the Face hugger cracked the glass early on, also The Suspense is ruined because you know what's gonna happend, in the last two movies The Xenomophs where Sneeaky and attack at any purpose hear we know because he inpants a dog inside"
so they decided to cut her hair off and become a Female Gail Porter

And then they decided to...well a Funneal to these 2 charecters from aliens
and place them into the Lava..."Farwell you iconic charecters....lets your legacy been known in this film forever and ever...Sob....im really depressed now."
and so the Dog fells the Alien inside and....it grew.....XENOMORPHS DONT WORK THAT WAY!
so Ripley is now in this prison plannet and also hear the biggest problem with the movie,
it goes back to one Alien, the last film used alot of Aliens in which you know the threat...So this is a copy version of alien...but bad.
and all of this is Boring Dialaog in which you dont care anymore,
Also their is Religion Aspects of this movie if you think Narnia dose that all the time,
this one clubbers your head.
Ripley then heads back to the ship to reactavates Bishop...but then a group
of Rapists but then the black guy saved her "dont mess with Rev black guy he's awesome"
so after that Ripley Actavates bishop telling to acess the computer
finding out a fire accoured and decuted an Alien was on Board Yeaahh

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDbHwz…

"so how come the Queen Alien in the last film Impanted the egg their, Her Sack Was
Dislouged after Ripley burned it was she like"

Quen Alien: Okay then you go in hear while i kill the others...Toodles.

So after that Bishop kicks the can, Also we see the workers gets killed one by one by the alien, "yep suspense in this movie is gone all together"
we see ripley with Charles dance at the hospital finding out what is going on,

"also the partnership between her and Dance is really well done as well because you can see becoming good freinds"
But then the Alien Attacks him, and then finds Ripley...and of course comes one of the
iconic scean where the Xenomopr comes to Ripley "its short but memorable as well"
Ripley heads to the others telling about the news "Oh and this is where Hailtothechimp gets this from This is Rumor control hear are the facts...man finding orgins like Cinema snob theme tune wasnt easy"
Ripley Warns them about the alien and as you guess the alien attacks,
Also another thing....this place as no wepons...."Play the amiga games it makes much sence"
so they begin a plan to kill the alien so they of course run around using Evil
Dead POV shots and...Also.
"something weird about the Alien...its CGI??? WHY! it ruins it now"
so they of course devided this plan and takes to a steel container,
with them and the alien traped, The Black guy tells ripley to climb up thus Sacraficing his life.
"Good speed Black guy...you where awesome"
The other guy then Poor the lead so that the Alien can be turn into steel "i guess the black guy must've been in a stone deaf...lol"
but the Alien is still alive "jesus how strong is this alien 90% Tugsten"
but Ripley saw the Water pulling one of them causing the alien to explode and die.
But its not yet over because the Wayneins company heard the signal and Arrived
at the prison plannet "How long did they get hear then...did it take months or weeks for it"

also we know what their up too, in one of the comics they wanted the aliens to make into a army "which makes sence"
so then comes The Human Version of Bishop telling that Ripley is pregnant with the alien that it happend in the middle of the movie, and said he will remove the alien out of her
And she will be back to her normal self, but then...we get i think the best Scean to kill of ripley.
 Ripley climb on the steel bridge with his man pulling to the one of the lava, and then...
She jumps and then she saw the Alien pops up and holding her as an infant and then Dies into the lava....
"I have to admit...i think they had the balls to the kill the main charecter"
that is Until Alien Ressurection save the film being disasterious.
and so the film Ends with the last prisnor taking back to Waynins and the
Pod revealing the Last entry.........
So that was Alien 3....WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEND!

Veridct:
Its so Depressing watching a film like this slowley declinced...with to be honest,
Alot of good people working with it, the script is ropey, the production is okay, and the changes they made really went from Awesome to Worst.

Which is sad because in that year James cameron created Terminator 2 to end
the franchise and tied the knot so tightly, that is until Temrinator 3.

oh you wanted to know my thoughts on Alien Ressurection, to be fair this was way better
and the idea of Cloning was something intresting, it may have faults but it was an enjoyable movie.
All i can say is stay with Alien, Alien, Alien Ressurection and Prometheus
and Also the Alien 3 Video game on Amiga.

Bye!
Alien 3
The True film that killed the franchse
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbBX6a…

Hello and Welcome to The Reviewer's guide where Horror and scares burn.

The vampire Johnrer, Ever since Bram Stoker's Novel Dracula came out,
And Bela Lagosi movie Dracula made one of the most Infulential movie, Vampire
movie still going on.
Since Dracula Untold will released early, Vampires are still going throught Tv shows,
Movies, Graphic Novels, Video games, Toys, Costumes ETC. about 98% of this is still going
Strong, Except for Twilight, and also this Film.
LESBIAN...FUCKING...VAMPIRE...KILLERS
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmRcZi…
Never heard of it, Well When Stephanie Myer target Girls with Virgina's
This peace of shit try to aim at Knobs, this peace of shit pass like a porn movie.
And of course it dose have Big star eveyone's funny man James Cordon.
So lets dig into Lesbian Vampire killer and slay this movie.

Review:
So The movie begins where The Narrator explains about the red moon
that the Villiage is been attacked by female vampires because of the Hateried
of men but the love of...Women Named Carmilla....never mind, except one Knight in shinning armour who came back from the Crusade saw that Cammella has taking one of his Wife, so he uses the Book of Vampyr and Forges a new sword to take her down. so in a battle the night was going to win, but Carmilla slash her chest and place a curse on him and then "as the narrator says...Cut his fucking head off" and so like the curse on his birthday they turn into Lesbian vampires...."WAIT WHAT....Their lesbian vampires....Their no such thing as one..." but the good news is that the Prophacy says that the decendent
of the last  blood line will release the curse.
"Okay i have to give credit that this was a epic opening...apart from the vampire lesbo thing"

So we cut years later we meet Jimmy (Matthew Horn) where his Girlfreind being dumped
with no reason she said she having time out from him  "Running Gag",
and of course Fletch (James Cordon) were he is fired from Children's Entertainment
"Same Thing with Kirsty O Brain" so they both meet at the pub and decided what to do
however Fletch saying its stupid, but Jimmy decided to take the countryside.
So they decided to take the Countryside until they get into a fight, Right until
we meet some Female Sexy women "who arnt attracted them Kirsten Stewart...also Dead Victams" so they head to villain to stop for a drink after Ex posistion from the bar tender,
and they head to a Cliche 34 in the Book of Cliches, A Haunted house.

So what do they do, They Party of course for about 12 miniutes which as nothing to
do with the plot of the movie.

However one of the Women outside in on partol "and she going to be the first victim"
and then The lights went out "ok who told Uwe bowl to that cliche"
And then another women who was in the shower checks out what is that noise
from the window AHHHH I hate jump scares.

So the heros and the smart female girls break the shower room and saw She is Gone
and also taken "Oh no not that women that i dont know anything about her"
they decided to go outside to find out what is going on and.
(Lesbian vampire orgasam, while Review in a WTF face)
"What the....." so then the Lesbo vampire attacks
Fletch but then the smart women kills it and spewing out white Blood....Proberly
a Homage of that Quintin Tarateno film From Dusk Till Dawn...you know when vampires
Blood was Green...Proberly Stick to the blade, Buffy and Van Helsing method of Turning them into ash.

so they decided to do the other thing....RUN AWAY!

And lock up the place and find objects to Arm themself's
but Turns out Jimmy's ex survived the attack and
decided now what to do and also this.
Fletch: Next time you'll be bumed up by a big gay werewolf.
Reviewer: NO SUCH THING!

we then head to a place where we meet the vicar played by PAUL MCGANN THE FRICKING 8TH DOCTOR YEAAAAH!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY-Ppp…
"Paul Mcgaan in this movie...Ok this film gets 1 credit" so
his quest is to find the reclic and now he arms himself to go onto this quest,
Back with Loserville group it turns out that Jimmy ex is turn into a Lesbo vampire
So he kills him
and thus the lesbos attacks, by...making them go to sleep...ok that how vampires do that.
BUT THE PAUL MCGANN IS HEAR MOTHERFUCKERS!

so he...use her Boobs to pull her to the shower and then turn it on, and the use the cross
with chants thus killing it...ok that's awesome.
and hear the big problem with the movies...the main charecters are unlikeable,
apart from paul mcgann who takes the serousness, so Mcgann tells him to find the sword that is under the tomb they head their and....The sword...as a knob...in a form of a penis....
SWORD ARE NOT PENISIS...WHAT KIND OF PERSON THINK OF THAT!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhTZdS…

"oh yeah forgot about that"
so they head in time so see the lesbo vampires are doing some orgasam Ceramony
"Proberly for fifty shades of gray"

but they arrived quickly but too late that Carmile has been ressurected
"and OMG...How can they not know lesbian vampires dont exist right im wrapping this up
Im sensing the credits are comming"
they fight agents Carmile and then her tounge doing the Gene Simmons Transplant X 3 but Jimmy gets the sword "Remember the prophacy" and throws the sword into her heart.
Rick O Cornor: GO TO HELL AND TAKE YOUR FREINDS WITH YOU!
and so she gets killed the curse is broken and they all lived happly ever after...Apart from

THE GAY FUCKING WAREWOLF!

(The Reviewer then gets out the ETM cartarage and then, the DVD flies, The Reivewer
Jumps and hits it flodding of the ETM and the DVD is Distoryed)
Final Verdict:

THIS MOVIE SUCKS...WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEND and yeah it had portential.

good cast, great prodcution design, but the film is abasouly disgusting
and the whole lesbian vampire thing is bullshit, proberly they must've run out of
ideas and put this one in for horny teenager.
So remember vampires fans make sure, a black guy named blade, a Hunter named Van Helising, a Women named Buffy who are 100% times better then this shit.

Bye!
Lesbian Vampire kilers
Lesbian Vampires my ass
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:icondim432:
Dim432 Featured By Owner 3 days ago   Writer
Basicly I like the main cast ben, gwen and max protesting about ben 10 omiverse
Reply
:iconrisenwarrior:
RisenWarrior Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Yea, same. XD But what about the pics in the links? Any comments to leave? :)
Reply
:icondim432:
Dim432 Featured By Owner 3 days ago   Writer
Basicly a bet thing.

Like I said please do a pic where the ben 10 cast complaint about ben 10 omiverse
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconraiodeouro7:
raiodeouro7 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014
thanks for the fave
Reply
:icondim432:
Dim432 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014   Writer
Thanks need more gwen Tennyson pics
Reply
:iconraiodeouro7:
raiodeouro7 Featured By Owner Edited Oct 14, 2014
this is true
Reply
:icondim432:
Dim432 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014   Writer
Yes
Reply
:iconjokerfake:
jokerfake Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconfav3dplz:
:icondananana3dplz:
Thanks for the +fav on Gwen trick or treat 2013
Reply
:icondim432:
Dim432 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014   Writer
Full image is not their
Reply
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